Ike and the EVIL chocolate!
by Supah Bob
Summary: Ike goes to the super market to buy chocolate. What twisted, evil things will happen to him there? Final chapter up!
1. Tally Ho?

Ike and the EVIL chocolate

Ok, I'm really bored. So I wrote this Fanfic. Can Ike buy the EVIL chocolate!

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It was a normal day at the Ike mercenaries stronghold (They changed the name.). Ike was reading. Boyd was nagging about Titania making him practice. Oscar was walking around, with that creepy smile on his face. And Mist was stabbing Ike while he was reading so she could practice healing.

"Mist, not so – OW!"

"Sorry Ike." Said Mist as she stabbed her brother again. "Heals Better?

"Lots. Why don't you go practice on Boyd?"

"Ok!"

A few minutes later……

Ike was reading "Force fields for Morons" When Boyd came in all scratched and bloody and had a really bad owie on his hand.

"You can have your sister back." Said Boyd as he glared at Ike.

"Sorry."

"Wait Boyd! I still have to heal you!" Said Mist. "Heals Boyd All better?"

"Yup."

"MIST AND BOYD. REPORT TO THE DINING HALL FOR A MEETING IMMIDIAENTLY." Said the P.A. System.

"What's a P.A. system?"

"Dunno. Let's go Mist." Said Boyd as he took Mist to the dining hall.

"I wonder why they're having a meeting without me. I'm the commander. They can't do that!" Said Ike as he put down his book and ran to the dining hall. And what he saw was NOT pretty.

Everyone was eating chocolate. I'm not even sure if chocolate was invented back then. But whatever.

"Hey Ike! Do you want some chocolate?" Said Brom as he ate the last bite. "Never mind."

"You guys! Why are you all eating chocolate?" Said Ike.

It was silent for a moment. But someone finally answered: "Well…. Because it tastes good!" Everyone murmered their agreement.

For a while, Ike just sat down while everyone else ate chocolate. But when they shouted for more, someone yelled "We're all out!"

"WHAT?" Yelled everyone. Then, everyone started staring at Ike.

"Oh – no. I am not going out there to buy chocolate for everyone."

5 seconds later….

"I can't believe I'm going out there to buy chocolate for everyone." Said Ike as he went to the super market.

At the super market, Ike was amazed. It was bigger then any fortress or castle he had ever seen!

"This is going to take a while." Said Ike as he went to the information booth.

"Hello, welcome to the super – OMG! It's IKE! Hey Ike! Would you like a "Person who's really important" discount?"

"Err… No thanks. Say, do you know where the chocolate is?" Asked Ike.

"Chocolate?"

"It's a long story. Where is it?"

"Well, actually, this market is so big, even I don't know!" Confessed the Info guy.

"WHAT? Whatever."

As Ike was walking around in the super market, He saw someone he thought he would never see in his life.

"Seth?"

That's right! Seth from Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones TM! For some reason, he was still in his armor and still on his horse. Maybe, it's superglue?

"Yeah, it's me. Everyone wants me to go buy beans. Weird, huh? What about you?"

"I have to go get chocolate." Said Ike. "What are you doing here anyway? You aren't in this game!"

"Oh. Right. Well, then I'm off to Broadway! Tally Ho!" Said Seth as he put on a top hat and started humming "When the saints go marching in" while poofing away in a puff of smoke.

"Tally Ho?"

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Bob: Yeah, that's the first chapter. It sucks.

Titania: Oh, it doesn't suck that much.

Ike and Bob: Yeah it does.

Titania: Ok, it does…..

Bob: Yeah, you're right. I'm bored, so I made this little bonus thingy.

Elincia: Thank you, Ike mercenaries, for killing king Ashnard.

Boyd: It was no biggie.

Elincia: Yeah it was. So we took three new things and named them after three of the Ike mercenaries! For Ike, A new candy called, "Mike and Ike"!

Audience:Cheers

Ike: A candy?

Bob: You'll take it, and you'll like it! Smacks Ike

Ike: Ow! Okay, okay! Gosh…..

Bob: ANYONE ELSE?

Ike mercenaries: Shakes head

Bob: Good. Leaves.

Elincia: 0o….. Ok then….. And to Titania, a new metal called, "Titanium"!

Titania: Who didn't see that coming…

Elincia: And to Boyd, A GLORIOUS new invention called… The Television!  
Boyd: WHAT! That doesn't even make sense!

Elincia:…. It's the writer's fault! Run's away

Bob: Sorry.

Drum shot


	2. Vegetables and Meat: A showdown with Ike

Ike and the EVIL chocolate

Chapter 2

The Produce Aisle and the frozen meat Aisle

Well, I'm impressed with myself. I actually got some good reviews. So this is the second chapter. Can Ike defeat the Vegetable king? And if he gets past him, can he beat the top frozen meat snowman?

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Ike was still in the Super Market, looking for chocolate, when he stumbled into the produce aisle.

"Well, we could use some more vegetables." Thought Ike as he walked into the produce aisle. "Let's see here…. We could use some beans. Hey! Where are the beans! Oh, right. Seth. Hey! Lettuce! Wait, that gives Boyd gas. Last time Boyd had gas… Never mind. Hmmm… Cabbage…. Oscar does make a good cabbage stew…." Said Ike. While he was looking at vegetables, he suddenly fell down a random hole!

"What the! #&!"

"Ah. You have fallen for the Vegetable king's trap, yes?" Said a mysterious voice.

"Who are you?"

"I am the Vegetable king! The president of Parsley! The captain of corn! The duke of DEEP FRIED VEGETABLE DUMPLINGS!" Shouted the Vegetable king. "I was the big man of beans, but some weird guy with red hair, armor, and a horse took all the beans…."

"So why did you kidnap me?" Asked Ike. "And why did you put a hole in the produce aisle?"

"So people can work in my vegetable garden! I am a vegetarian." Replied the vegetable king.

"I see. I have a question."

"What?"

"If I best you in swordplay, will you let me and all these other people go?" Questioned Ike.

"Ha ha! You amuse me. Now I will amuse you by agreeing to your little challenge. We shall duel tomorrow." Replied the Vegetable king.

"Today."

"Next morning."

"This afternoon."

"Tonight at 12:00 P.M."

"No, next morning."

"No, this afternoon."

"How about right now?"

"Ok." Said Ike with a small chuckle.

"But be warned. My carrot blades will defeat y-" The Vegetable king was cut off by Ike cutting his carrots into thin little slices and the putting the tip of his regal sword right in front of the Vegetable king's neck.

"All right you win! But be again warned. I may have failed, but the top frozen meat snowman will not!" Warned the Vegetable king.

"I'll take my chances." Replied Ike. Though he was a little worried about what he said…

10 minutes later….

Everyone was outside, including the vegetable garden workers. Ike took some cabbage and left. After a while, he found the frozen meat aisle.

"Hmm…. Well, we do need some more meat….. And anything goes great with Oscars cabbage stew, especially pork and beans. Wait, Seth took all the beans. I'll just get chicken." Ike thought. While he was looking for the chicken, he was careful not to fall into random holes. But suddenly, (Dum bum bum….) Ike was sucked in to a random hole! In the ceiling!

"Great. A random hole in the ceiling. That's just great." Ike thought as he was being sucked forcibly in to the ceiling hole.

"Ok… This is odd…"

"HA HA! FOOL! You fell for the Vegetable king's trap, escaped, were making sure that you didn't fall into any random holes in the floor, and you fell for my trap, didn't you?" Said a mysterious voice.

"Well actually, yeah. But first things first. Who are you?" Replied Ike.

"Me? I am the Top Frozen Meat Snowman!"

"Oh no. The vegetable king warned me about you. So… What will you do with me?" Asked Ike.

"Oh. I will – Ahh! I'm being cooked!" The Top Frozen Meat Snowman was cut off by someone cooking it with a flame thrower. And that person was…..

"Boyd?"

"Yeah, it's me. You were taking awfully long with the chocolate, they sent me to get some food. Now I have a bunch of cooked meat without a label, and I can go. Bye!" Then Boyd ran away with meat.

"Ok…. I better get out of here…" Said Ike. Ike got a mattress from absolutely nowhere and threw it down the hole. He then jumped down and landed on the mattress.

"It's getting late. I better get back. Then again, they'd kill me if I didn't bring the chocolate. I better ask that Info guy if I can sleep here." Then Ike ran to the Info booth.

"Hey Ike! The checkout place is that way." Said they Info guy.

"That's not it. See, everyone will kill me if I don't bring back chocolate, so can I sleep here?" Asked Ike.

"Sure!"

"Thanks."

After avoiding girls who wanted to sleep with him, (Eww…) He went to one of the carts and started to sleep. His last thoughts before sleeping were…

"This Super market is very, very weird…"

Bob: Well, that's the end of the second chapter.

Boyd: That sucked even more than the last chapter! And flamethrowers weren't invented yet!

Bob: I don't care. This is Fanfiction. You can write almost anything!

Boyd: But it still sucks…

Bob: Shut up!

Elincia: Ok then… This Fanfiction is brought to you by…

Pringles snack stacks. What would you do to put that crunch in your lunch?


	3. Attack of the movie ripoffs!

Ike and the EVIL Chocolate

Chapter three

Attack of the movie rip-offs

Sorry I haven't updated in very x 100 long. I was busy doing stuff. Anyway, this is a chapter with a lot of movie rip-offs. And it's sort of dumb and funny at the same time. I made this up when I went to my piano practice. I like it.

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"Ughh... Where am I? Oh right. Chocolate." Ike said as he woke up. Then he saw something.

One of those signs they have in front of the aisles where they tell you what's in the aisle. On that one, it said, "CHOCOLATE". Ike didn't care what else and he leaped with joy. He was going to go get the chocolate when…

"STOP. I was here first."

It was a man completely covered in silver armor with a touch of yellow. He had a mask that had a striking resemblance to Darth Vader's mask.

"Hello sir, I really need to get through. If you'll excuse me..." Ike said. He walked around the man and somehow accidentally punched his face somehow.

The man snapped his fingers twice and held up a hand. "Oh no, you didn't!". Ike did the same thing and said "Oh yes I did!" The man immediately brandished a sword. "Do you want to die" He asked"

Ike drew his regal blade and said "No. I just want... CHOCOLATE!" As he said that last word he leaped at the man, sword in hand. The man blocked and tried to strike a blow against Ike. Ike blocked, jumped behind the man, and swung his sword. The man blocked.

Never before had such a fearsome battle been fought. They slashed, blocked, parried, had tea parties, kicked random spectators in the private place, but the Masked Man became the Victor, with the Ike on the floor.

"Titania never told you what happened to Seth." The Masked Man said. "What? What are you talking about?" Replied Ike. "No Ike. I AM your Seth. Search your feelings. You know it to be true." And with that, them Masked Man took off his mask and he turned out to be Seth! "Oh yeah. This is the part when you go, "Noooooooo!"". "Oh. Ok. Noooooooo!" Ike replied. "So now what, Seth" Ike asked. 'You'll have to wait until the next movie!" Seth answered. "MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

For now, here are some commercials!

Boyd: Hello people. Are you tired of ordinary life? Hearing about wars but not BEING in them got you down?

Oscar: Then join the Ike Mercenaries! We have weapons and training for all ages! Right Rolf?

Rolf: Right! It's super cool!

Boyd: So come on down to the Ike Mercenaries. Where we put the FUN in Mercenaries!

Oscar: Psst. Boyd, that wasn't right!

Boyd: How was I supposed to know, you son of a –

Rolf: NEXT COMMERCIAL!

Soren: Hey, what's on the table for dinner? Why Leguz, of course! At Leguz BBQ, we only have then finest of Leguz roasting technology to cook our Leguz!

(While he's saying that, it shows a tiger with a stick through it being held by two people and it's over a open fire)

Soren: So come on down to Leguz BBQ! Where we care about our customers!

Lethe: Why you! –

(Show Titania, sitting on a chair, with the spot light on her. It goes into a slideshow with a bunch of picture of her in weird poses, holding a bottle of milk.)

Announcer: Milk. It's good for you.

Now the next movie!

(It shows Ike and Seth sword fighting. Ike is winning. They are in a huge castle.)

(UPDATE: Ike has won. We know bring you live to the scene.)

"Why, Seth? WHY?" Ike asked. "Because Ike.. I had to get.. The beans.." He replied. "WATCH OUT! THE CASTLE GOING TO BLOW!" a knight yelled. "Quick Ike! To the bicycle! " Seth yelled.

Ike: Seth!

Seth: Ike!

Ike: Seth!

Seth: Ike!

And thus, they did the Gai – Lee thing from Naruto. If you don't know what that is, it's when there's a sunset in the background and they hug.

"Ok, enough of that, to the bicycle Ike!" Seth yelled.

And so, they got into a bicycle, and Seth was riding in the little basket at the front.

"We're flying Ike! We're really flying!" Seth yelled when they were directly in front of the moon.

At the Ike Mercenaries base...

Boyd: And the cow jumped over the mooooooooooon!

(Titania whacks Boyd)

Titania: That's not a cow! That's Ike and Seth!

While they were arguing, Ike and Seth started falling.

"Ahh!" They both yelled as they were falling.

They landed near a bomb, about to explode! They jumped just in time, but all slo – mo. In bold letters it said, "Mission Ikepossible.".

"Phew. We survived." Said Ike. "Yeah." replied Seth. But something fell at their feet. It was a sign that said, "Super Market". They were about to panic when a huge load of chocolate and beans fell at their feet.

"What a weird coincidence. Eh, Ike?" Seth Asked. "Yeah." Ike answered. Ike took the chocolate and Seth took the beans. "See you later then! Tally Ho!" Seth yelled as he vanished in a puff of smoke.

Later…

Ike was in his room, reading the rest of "Force fields for morons", when suddenly he heard something on the P.A System.

"Ike, we're out of chocolate."

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And that kids, is the end.

Please, Read and Review!

I'm thinking of making a sequel. Something about the info guy. Any Ideas?


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